Wednesday, November 6, 2024
Don’t be ‘cocky’
Whatever you do… when using crutches, NEVER- and I mean NEVER- be COCKY. You see… crutches have a way of biting back when you least expect it.
I truly have a LOVE/HATE relationship with my crutches… mostly HATE.
They MOCK me constantly.
How may you ask? Easy… I love when I place them against a wall or chair and they appear to be still and unmoving. When in reality they are shifting ever so slowly toward one side or the other until gravity forces them to the ground in a rather loud and sudden CRASH.
That sudden sound has been known to force a few choice ‘4-letter words’ out of my mouth.
I hate my crutches.
These crutches have a way of bringing you back to ‘reality’ at a moment’s notice. Just when I think I have these 2-legged creatures ‘mastered’, one of them gets caught up in in a piece of carpet or a thought to be safe and out of the way piece of clothing. The sudden pull back throws off your balance… something you were clearly not anticipating… and you find yourself trying to avoid either a forward faceplant or rear tumble- all while working hard to avoid placing any weight on my surgically repaired right ankle.
Fun… NOT! Have I mentioned I hate my crutches?
What about stairs? Well… these crutches take a perverse pleasure in stairs. This is where my first fall happened.
I specifically AVOID the 2 long staircases in my house… with some 10 steps between them. These I reserve these stairs for my patented ‘boot scotting’ maneuver.
We do have, however, a little 2-step staircase between the dining room and family room area. I have been managing these stairs for a few days in fairly good form… until this evening. Climbing these stairs in the same way I had for the past few days, my right crutch leg did not 100% clear the stairs lip. This ‘catch’ caused me to lose balance… first forward where I was able to catch myself… but then backwards. Hard backwards.
There was no way to prevent this backward fall. Being a long-term runner, I’ve fallen many a time, and I’ve learned the best way to prevent an injury in a fall is to ‘roll into it’.
This I did… unfortunately I could not avoid the wooden corner of the bottom step and my right buttock.
Ouch.
My wife heard my assorted 4-letter ‘wails’ as I was falling and came running over…. Just in time to see me on the floor in what must have been a sight.
No injuries… other than my already severely bruised ego. (Did I mention I hate my crutches?)
The next morning my wife noticed a significant bruise on my right buttock. Funny… I didn’t feel anything there. I thanked God for not putting any pain receptors there for me.
I haven’t given up on these stairs quite yet… although I must admit I now take a few extra seconds to verify/confirm where both my crutch legs are specifically on the stair step before I take my next step.
So far- so good.
But I cannot help but think I may have just jinxed myself here…
Let us pray.
Ruptured Runner 
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