Wishing My Life Away… Monday, November 11, 2024

Monday, November 11, 2024

This article took me forever to start. Reason: I wanted to make certain the feelings I was experiencing toward this subject were truly real.

Turns out… they were.

Any recovery process is a series of milestone events… next ortho appointment… first splint removal… cast removal date… physical therapy start, etc., etc., etc. A new ‘next step’ as identified as a ‘circled date’ on a calendar.

While waiting for my next ‘milestone event’ in this recovery process, I found myself ‘Wishing My Life Away.” 

As an example:

• On Thursday, November 14^th, I have my first appointment set with the Ortho PA designed to remove my ‘from-surgery’ splint, slightly reposition my foot, and apply a first-time full cast.
• I’m very anxious to get this splint off and start the next phase of my recovery… but today is only Monday, November 11^th… that’s 3 days before the 14^th.
• I find myself wondering WHY CAN’T TODAY- WHICH IS ONLY MONDAY- BE THURSDAY ALREADY???

And in the process, I find myself wishing why can’t 3 days of my life ‘be gone’ just so that Thursday, November 14^th could be here sooner.

This series of events will happen again… for the cast I will be fitted with will be on my leg for some 2-3 weeks… and I’ll be anxiously looking at the calendar wondering why my ‘cast removal’ date is still not here.

Clearly ‘wishing my life away’. Sad.

God’s most precious gift – “LIFE” – wishing was gone just so my next milestone event in my recovery could happen ‘sooner’.

Is this normal? Am I unique in these feelings?

For those unfamiliar with these feelings or exactly what I’m talking about, I’ll give a potential ‘real life’ example: For those that celebrate Christmas, as a child I remember the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day itself simply took FOREVER. The days would drag… I would wake each day wondering why it is still in November… why still only in single digit December dates… etc. 

Each painfully SLOW day only felt getting slower and slower as time marched closer to December 25^th. Heck, as a kid, I always knew Christmas Eve day itself lasted about a week and a half. This explains everything.

I believe these feelings are real and, under the circumstances, normal. In my opinion, people generally want to get past a more ‘negative’ time for a more ‘positive’ one. And the next milestone recovery event is certainly a more ‘positive’ one.

Perhaps I need to change my definition of a ‘milestone event’ in my recovery. 

Maybe instead of a specific ‘date’ in this process, I should consider EACH DAY a milestone event. 

I need to appreciate where I am… knowing each day I’m getting stronger and closer to full recovery and back to running than just the day before.

Clearly a milestone event!

 And in the process, I’ll stop wishing my life away.

Comments? Send me a note at: RupturedRunner@gmail.com.